This Is All I Need

Sunday was my first birthday living in Spain. And yeah, is everything I talk about qualified with “living in Spain” now? Probably. But I don’t think this has much to do with Spain.

I think I realized something about myself on Sunday. I don’t need much to be happy.

I’m sure poets and philosophers are rolling their eyes. I’ve known for a long time that happiness has nothing to do with the things I have. But I still caught myself thinking — sometimes out loud — that if I just had a bit more money, I’d have less stress, and then I’d be happy.

But on Sunday, my 47th birthday, I felt something different. Contentment.

My youngest son and I played video games in the morning. We all had sandwiches for lunch, then rode the bus over to the beach. Amy laid in the sun while Cohen and I threw the baseball around, and then we walked the boardwalk together. We rode the bus back into the city and went to one of our favorite spots for sweets. I had an affogato. Amy had ice cream. Cohen had an Oreo shake.

We went home, cooked a steak dinner, and enjoyed each other’s company. Jacob, my oldest, is away at school, but we had a video call with him. They all sang Happy Birthday to me and we ate more goodies.

It was nice. Very low key. And I really, really enjoyed it.

That’s when it hit me: this is it. This is all I need.

I love where we live. Sure, it’s beautiful and still feels new. But one thing this move has done, more than anything, is bring us all very close together. We’re navigating a huge life change, and we need each other. That kind of closeness doesn’t happen on its own. You have to be a little bit lost together to find it.

I love that Amy enjoys birthdays and celebrations. I know it was hard for her to lay off this year and respect my wishes for a low-key day. But I’m thankful she did. I needed the space to just reflect and enjoy my wonderful family.

I just wish Jake could have been here too. But that gives us an excuse to eat more goodies when he visits again.